When a child busts a lip, and after seeing she’s okay, you round up some scotch tape to capture some blood and look at it under the microscope! (I cut the very tip of my finger off while preparing pies for Thanksgiving and my children asked for the piece to look at under their microscope…I got No sympathy whatsoever. But I did reach a whole new level of “cool”.
Your children never ever leave the “why?” stage.
When your teenager decides to take one community college course, and comes home and asks you why the teacher wrote “At” on his paper. (A+)
You ask for, and get, a copier instead of a diamond tennis bracelet for your wedding anniversary.
Your kids think reading history is best accomplished while lying on the floor with their head resting on the side of their patient dog. (or each other)
Your husband can walk in at the end of a long day and tell how the science experiment went just by looking at the house. (in our house its my husband who is heading up the “booming” experiments…ie. the potato cannon…still not sure that was a good idea)
You never have to drive your child’s forgotten lunch to school.
Your child will never suffer the embarrassment of group showers after PE.
The only debate about the school lunch program is whose turn it is to cook.
You never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your child’s side or the teacher’s side in a dispute at school.
If your child get’s drugs at school, it’s probably Tylenol.
Your neighbors think you are insane.
Your kids learn new vocabulary from their extensive collection of “Calvin & Hobbes” books.
Your formal dining room now has a computer, copy machine, and many book shelves and there are educational posters and maps all over the walls.
You have meal worms growing in a container….on purpose.
If you get caught talking to yourself, you can claim you’re having a PTA meeting.
Talking out loud to yourself is a parent/teacher conference.
You take off for a teacher in-service day because the principal needs clean underwear.
You can’t make it through a movie without pointing out the historical inaccuracies.
You step on math manipulatives on your pre-dawn stumble to the bathroom.
The teacher gets to kiss the principal in the faculty lounge and no one gossips.
Your honor student can actually read the bumper sticker that you have put on your car.
If your child claims that the dog ate his homework, you can ask the dog.
Some day your children will consider you to be a miracle-working expert and will turn to you for advice.
Your kids refer to the neighbor kids as “government school inmates.”
You can’t make it through the grocery produce department without asking your preschooler the name and color of every vegetable.
You can’t put your produce in your cart without asking your older student to estimate it’s weight and verify accuracy.
You live in a one-house schoolroom.
You try to (quickly) capture the huge bee that was knocked unconscious as it accidentally flew into your car window, so the kids can classify and inspect it.
Your bank statement reflects the fact that you spend more at Books-A-Million than at fancy clothing stores. (this is so true for us)
You’ve got more books and bookcases than anyone you know.
You DREAM of a room (or even a whole house!) with wall to wall, ceiling to floor bookshelves. (I keep asking my husband for more shelves….he keeps saying “You’ll just fill them up”…well yeah ..what else would I do with them ? Scuba dive ?)
The walls of your dining room are decorated with posters of the US Presidents, Periodic Table of Elements, Map of the Moon, Spanish Conjugation Chart and a copy of the Declaration of Independence, not to mention a poster of the Ten Commandments since no one can tell you not to!
You have children draped all over the furniture….and they’re reading…for the FUN of it!
Your children actually enjoy spending time with their family, even their siblings!
Your children aren’t embarrassed to be seen playing with someone younger than they are!
You are on a first name basis with the majority of local librarians.
You’ve laughed out loud when someone asked you “What about socialization?”
